God and I Versus All

(Note: I tried to censor all the swear words teenagers use subconsciously. I kept it to the minimum)

CAST

Algernon: High school kid in a band
Lane: A kid bullied by Algernon
Jack: Algernon’s friend and also in his band
Gwendolen: Captain of Cheerleading squad
Lady Bracknell: Gwendolen’s mom and Algernon’s aunt, CEO of a record company.

There is a loud riff of electric guitar, so good that nearby passengers think Jimmy Hendrix revived or something

Lane: Yo, Algy, we should like go on a gig or something!

Algernon: shut up and wipe the floor because I can play with expression and you smell.

Jack comes in

Jack: sup

Algy: sup ma drummer?

Jack: Oh dude why’s your room so clean? Is someone important visiting you?

Algy: Yeah. Gwendolen and my aunt.

Jack: oh baby…(interrupted by Algy)

Algy: You get the hell out of here before they come. It’s seriously gay and disgusting watching my friend and a cousin flirting.

Jack: that’s none of your business, you’re just jealous you don’t get to flirt with any of girls unlike me

Algy: That’s because girls and relationships are just nuisances in my path and passion towards music.

Jack: I think you’re gay

Algy: (ignores) Today is my very important day of life you dumbass. But still before that, who the hell is Cecily? If you answer that clearly, I wouldn’t kick you out.

Jack: your mom

Algy: tell me or I’ll tell Gwendolen that you’re already going out with someone else.

Jack: BS. … Alright. She’s my mom.

Algy: right, then why the heck does your mom call you an ‘oppa*’? (Oppa is a korean word that girls use to address older guys. Could be comprehended as romantic)

Jack: WTF? Where’d you get that?

Algy: You left your cellphone last time, and I unintentionally read the latest message.

Jack: What, you had my phone and you didn’t even tell me? What’s wrong with you man, I just got a new one!

Algy: Sorry about that but who’s Cecily?

Jack: She’s my stepmom. My dad likes young girls. Pedophile.. incest.. which one was it?

Algy: Stop lying to me! Lane! bring the phone!

Lane: Here

Algy: I’ll read the exact meesage: “Oppa, when are you coming back to the club? Please don’t make me wait again! <3 - Cecily.” So… you go to clubs with your stepmom and do stuff? That’s really gross… man what’s wrong with you and your family?

Jack: Alright.. I’ll just tell the truth. That’s a little homework-study group I belong to. Cecily’s just an underclassmen I knew. And I was tardy these days.

Algy: YOU STUDY? I never knew you studied! I introduced you to every one of my friends as “one of us” and you’re just saying that you study. In a nice little fancy study group with Cecily, bloody liar!

Jack: No, I don’t really go there, just went there a few times because my mom forced me to.

Algy: Quit kidding or I’ll rip your **lls out and shove it into Gwen’s throat

Jack: Okay, Okay! I tend to play around in school out outside, but I study in home. Got that? And I don’t have any affairs with Cecily, I’m totally clean, you have no reason to block me from making out with Gwen!

Lane: Guys, Bracknell and Gwen came!

Lady Bracknell and Gwen comes in

Bracknell: What a clean room! Algernon, why, you are so neat!

Algernon: It’s no problem, thank you.

Gwen: hey

Jack: hey

Algy: hey

Gwen: Hey Jack, how do I look today?

Jack: Perfectly hot

Gwen: OMG, Perfect? I hope not, because I have sexier clothes in my home that my parents would never let me wear. If I am perfect right now, those would have been a total waste of money!

Bracknell: So, Algernon, I am very impressed with your video that you put on Youtube. So may I listen to your demo-CD? I’m sure it is done by now. The EMI is interested in promoting your project through record sales.

Algy: oh, I’m afraid that I did not burn my demo CD yet. You know, we students have less than a month for Finals! Sorry, I was very busy studying these days (shares eye glance with Jack) . However still I can play it live for you. Would you come to the studio?

Bracknell: okay

Bracknell and Algernon goes to the other room

Gwen: hey

Jack: hey… good weather. And I love you. Let’s go out.

Gwen: Oh yes! You don’t know how long I waited for that! Besides, you are my perfect type! A drummer who bravely ditches school and pursues his own impossible dreams! Such as becoming the greatest drummer int he world! I always admired a person like that, and I knew I would fall in love with you since Algy first introduced us!

Jack: Okay.. I understand, but what about a guy who’s GPA is 4.0? One who gets the honor roles and scholarships?

Gwen: Bah, talk nonsense, Jack! Why would I even care about those nerds? Those are unexciting and unromantic. Jack, I only have you!

Lady Bracknell and Algernon returns

Bracknell: What madness is this, look what postures you guys are in! How embarrassing!

Gwen: Mom, I got a (new) boyfriend! It’s Jack!

Bracknell: Jack? Well, I know only a few things about you. I will have to ask you bunch of questions if you will suit my beautiful daughter. So first question. How are your parents?

Jack: They used to work in the World Trade Tower until 11 September, 2001. I currently live in an empty house alone with government support and legacy of my parents.

Algernon: Oh, you never told me your mom was dead.

Bracknell: I’m sorry! But that means you would have received some good education… and you are free at all times! You could take care of my daughter well! So now the second question, how do you do in school?

Jack: I am actually one of the brightest, I maintained straight A’s all years of highschool and received various academic recognitions.

Bracknell: Perfect! So, how many AP courses did you take?

Jack: In fact, took none of them. Many colleges that I desired to apply did not require AP’s or even SAT’s. Because I’m aiming for a music school.

Bracknell: Nonsense! How ignorant must you be, claiming to be smart without taking any AP or IB classes? Don’t you realize it’s useless having a 4.0 if you don’t have any AP exam scores to show off? It turned out to be, after all, you are not suitable for my Gwendolen at all therefore I cannot prove you guys’ relationships. Gwendolen, we’re going home.

Jack: (B***H)

Gwen: mama, no! Jack, rescue me!

Gwen and Bracknell leaves

Algy: That was one hot scene, man?

Jack: Shut up… man, what’s wrong with her?

Algy: she’s just like that… you know. Rich people think they’re Luois XVI or something

Jack: Ahh, time for the study session is almost up! I shall be leaving, see you soon!

Jack leaves

Algernon: Did anyone notice that Jack didn’t take back his old phone? Alright, let’s look at this.. there it is, the address for the study group! I am going there as well, well, to check out Cecily!

Lane: Did everyone forget me?

ACT I curtain drop.